Christmas, Nutcracker, and a Meddling Mother

The post-Thanksgiving period has been quite busy, with Nutcracker performances coming out the ear. As a Tulsa Symphony Orchestra musician, I'm in the pit, along with my colleagues, for Tulsa Ballet's annual production. This year we did three performances at Rose State College's Performing Arts Center in Midwest City (a suburb of Oklahoma City), and (by the end of this year's run), eight performances in Tulsa. This morning I also played two services at Carbondale Assembly of God, the church of my longtime stand partner, Raymond. I'm more than a little disappointed that I'm not playing the annual Messiah for Boston Avenue Church. I used to play that job every year when Rod (our then principal bassoonist and member of that church) hired the orchestra. Since Rod's departure Steve (our second trumpet) has taken over hiring the orchestra, and he rarely calls me. I can always hope for a last minute cancellation in the violins and that Steve will give me a call. The money sure wouldn't hurt.

Speaking of money-we all know money is tight for everyone these days. I'm no exception. I count myself lucky that I am employed, that I still have health insurance, and while I have to watch my money, I'm still able to pay the bills, keep my lights on and eat. True, my car needs some work, which I have been putting off for some time now. If I didn't have to give up the first opera of this season-and its income-due to my surgery, and if I hadn't had my medical expenses of the past six months or so, the car probably would have been taken care of. So, while things are far from perfect, I think I'm doing okay.

My mother doesn't think so.

Prior to Thanksgiving I made the mistake of mentioning that my car needed work (in response to her question about whether or not I would be coming for Christmas). On Thanksgiving Day (one week later) she asked me if I had my car repaired. When I replied that I hadn't yet, but I would get to it, she started hectoring me about how irresponsible I was, what a spendthrift, and (her favorite refrain when she needs to put me down) how I was "just like my father." (In my mother's eyes, my father is the epitome of "good for nothing.")

Long story short-Mother is talking about helping me purchase a plane ticket to visit her over Christmas. She also insists "we need to talk" about my finances. As much as I would like to get away and spend some time in Chicago (especially in light of the fact that our next President is from Chicago), I am leaning strongly against going. My personal finances are none of my mother's business, and I do not want to be put in a situation where she starts asking nosy questions about how I choose to live my life. I see this as a blatant attempt to control me. She has never learned that she cannot control me, and that she has to butt out of her daughter's personal finances.

On the other hand, I could make matters worst by staying away. But at this point I've had it with her meddling. After one conversation I was so frustrated I did a Google search on divorcing one's parents. Believe me, at times like this I would welcome the option to divorce my mother so I don't have to put up with her controlling games any longer.

Okay. End of rant. Have to talk to Mother again tonight. Sigh. I'm not going to change her, so it's probably better for both of us if I just remain in Tulsa for the Christmas period.